Lawyer Jokes:
Q: How many Laywers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of
the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating
at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of
the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the
second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the
parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be
limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other
means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party
of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered
non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part
becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall
have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner
consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes.
Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part
shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall
occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in
step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation
should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the
first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to
produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
-Robert 01/23/2006
Counter-Strike April fools
I know this one is from last year, but it's still just as funny. Basically, Valve posted this as if it were information about a new patch they had just implemented.
I have no idea how many angry e-mails they may have recieved from the uproar that ensued, but it was a great gag. I love when game companies play april fools jokes on thier dedicated
players. This is a direct copy of the page from www.steampowered.com.
-Robert 05/1/2006
The Works of Jerry Levine:
These are actual essays submitted by a Sixth grade-ish student named Jeremy Levine. Give them a read. Hilarity is contained within.
-Robert 08/6/2006